Strange, I wanted to update this journal because of something that happened yesterday, and turns out that it's been exactly one year since I last updated it.
So the guy in the last post was my boyfriend for almost 2 years. We broke up in December of last year and we were living together, so I had to find a new place to live. Before I moved, we spent Christmas morning together, exchanged gifts, and then went off to do our own thing.
It's been hard since, because I moved in with a friend and have been sleeping on her couch. Now almost 6 months later (really not even 5 yet) I am still here because I've been working on moving to a new city. It's finally happening, so I need to now sell all my stuff.
I finally got my stuff from his place 2 days ago, and yesterday I was going through some of it. I found a little box that had some sentimental items, like a Mickey Mouse doll he got me when he went to Disneyland and I couldn't go, and a picture of us ... and then I found a little trinket wrapped in plastic. It was a keychain that held the Triforce symbol from the Legend of Zelda, by far my favorite video game and really the only video game I ever really play.
I thought to myself, that's not mine ... and I tried to make out the chicken scratch that was etched onto the plastic with a permanent marker. It said, "forgot to give this to you on x-mas".
This all unfolded in front of the girl I am staying with, and she was there as I slowly read it out loud figuring out what it said. Once I got the words out of my mouth, I looked up at her and she was looking at me wide eyed. Immediately she said, "Please don't cry," but it was too late. My eyes were obviously red and slowly getting more and more damp. I pulled it together, as I was about to go on a run before all this, and I put everything back in the box, chugged some water, and ran out the door in my effortless stride.
During the run, which is my time to lose myself and clear my head, the Triforce keychain kept reappearing in my mind and almost made me lose it and need to stop running.
I held out. Didn't stop running. Didn't every shed an actual tear that would roll down my cheek, but it was hard. A day hasn't yet to go by when I don't think about him.