You are viewing onyxobsidian

Angel's Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
Angel

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Oooh [08 Apr 2014|01:14pm]




Just posting some gym selfies. Don't mind me.

I don't think anyone reads this anyway so it's mostly just to track progress here instead of on my real blog.
5 comments|post comment

Funny thing is ... [03 May 2013|10:23am]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

Strange, I wanted to update this journal because of something that happened yesterday, and turns out that it's been exactly one year since I last updated it.


So the guy in the last post was my boyfriend for almost 2 years. We broke up in December of last year and we were living together, so I had to find a new place to live. Before I moved, we spent Christmas morning together, exchanged gifts, and then went off to do our own thing.

It's been hard since, because I moved in with a friend and have been sleeping on her couch. Now almost 6 months later (really not even 5 yet) I am still here because I've been working on moving to a new city. It's finally happening, so I need to now sell all my stuff.

I finally got my stuff from his place 2 days ago, and yesterday I was going through some of it. I found a little box that had some sentimental items, like a Mickey Mouse doll he got me when he went to Disneyland and I couldn't go, and a picture of us ... and then I found a little trinket wrapped in plastic. It was a keychain that held the Triforce symbol from the Legend of Zelda, by far my favorite video game and really the only video game I ever really play.

I thought to myself, that's not mine ... and I tried to make out the chicken scratch that was etched onto the plastic with a permanent marker. It said, "forgot to give this to you on x-mas".

This all unfolded in front of the girl I am staying with, and she was there as I slowly read it out loud figuring out what it said. Once I got the words out of my mouth, I looked up at her and she was looking at me wide eyed. Immediately she said, "Please don't cry," but it was too late. My eyes were obviously red and slowly getting more and more damp. I pulled it together, as I was about to go on a run before all this, and I put everything back in the box, chugged some water, and ran out the door in my effortless stride.

During the run, which is my time to lose myself and clear my head, the Triforce keychain kept reappearing in my mind and almost made me lose it and need to stop running.

I held out. Didn't stop running. Didn't every shed an actual tear that would roll down my cheek, but it was hard. A day hasn't yet to go by when I don't think about him.

post comment

[03 May 2012|09:33pm]
Back in March, I went to San Juan, Puerto Rico. Got to see my family, see a lot of the island which was remarkable, and also went on a 7 day Southern Caribbean gay cruise.

There was lots of partying aboard, but also got to visit the beautiful islands of Grenada, Barbados, Dominica (where 2 men on the ship got arrested and made headlines for having sex on their balcony, in Dominica where homosexuality is illegal), and St. Barths.

Photos!... extremely out of order photo. Who cares? PHOTOS!


Mardi Glo party


At my grandparent's home in Barranquitas, PR.


Some giant palm branch in Dominica. I am holding a bottle of extremely delicious banana soda. Where can I get that in the US??


At a waterfall in a pool up in the mountains of Dominica.


More Mardi Glo party.


Enjoying some fresh coconut water in Grenada.


Getting set and ready for some tribal night. I spent more time on my costume than time spent at the party.


Dog Tag T-Dance (first party, so I am still pretty pale at this point)


Equinox Rising.


This scary fuckin' jeep. I thought we were going to die when we rode up higher into the mountains in Barranquitas.


Snorkeling in Barbados. We got to pet and feed sea turtles!!


Enjoying some raw sugar cane in Barbados :)


Free Barcadi cocktails at the Bacardi Distillery!


Swimming in either Barbados or St. Barths. I tried this out a lot.

That's it!!
post comment

Guess what [24 Nov 2011|10:56pm]
HEY!

September I went to Europe.

Look at my pictures.



We went to die Residenz in Munich.


Also, Oktoberfest!!


Checked out the Berlin Wall


Climbed buildings made out of WWII ruins in the East German city of Dresden.


Saw some gorgeous architecture in Prague.


Hung around with the bones of 40,000 people in the Czech Republic, ornately decorating an otherwise lugubrious ossuary.


Hopped around on trains


Pissed off some Spanish Horses in Austria.


There were ornate palaces in Vienna.


Drank lots of red wine in Italy.


Which left me contemplating peeing in one of Venice's canals (which I totally did, later that night)


And before flying home we made sure not to leave Europe without checking out a castle straight from a fairy tale.


Good night!!
post comment

[08 Aug 2011|11:10am]
post comment

[14 Jan 2005|11:00am]
Well it's been a while since I've updated. Do you know why? Because nothing big or exciting is going on! Well, I guess by that I mean there's been no major drama that I need to kind of keep secret, which I guess is good. I usually only write in here when things aren't going right, or people, who read my other journal and have boyfriends who read my other journal, decide it'd be fun to fool around with my anyway and I just HAVE to report it. Nothing like that's going on...

All quiet on the western front. Hm.. not much on the north, south, or eastern fronts either. It's just been all work, little play, and no play play.

Hey, I can talk about Jake. I like Jake. Jake and I had a little bit of SOMETHING going on back in like May/June or theresabouts. But you see, back then I was 18 and Jake was 15. We only ever made out, but...

He moved to Utah. I went to Alaska. I came back from Alaska. He's moving back from Utah. When I saw him again a whole rush of insatiated feelings flooded my body. That's when Eli jumped all over him. Eli, the guy who's "engaged" yet sleeps with everyone he can anyway. I like Eli. He's a cool, fun, pretty guy, but he's just kinda trashy. And it's not fair for him to get all the boys when he already has one waiting for him at home. It's a lose-lose-lose-lose-lose situation all around.

So he had Jake. Later that party event scene day thing, he was all over this guy named Josh. I had no feelings for Josh since I thought he was straight anyway, but he was all over Josh. Maybe I could get closer to Jake at this intimate house party we were at? No. Eli's all over both of them.

Next week, Eli's with this new guy and they have a threesome with a stranger in a bathhouse.

Next week, Eli and Jake are barely even talking to each other. Wonder what the deal is there. Then Jake's all over the Josh guy on the ride home.

I'm 19. Jake's still 15. Maybe it's for the best that I don't get involved as one of these statutory rapists. But Jake is so friggen... well, he's not gorgeously stereotypically manly or anything, but he's not 15. He's 6 foot something, strong features, deep, raspy voice. My favorite thing about him is his voice... I'm not like REALLY REALLY after him or anything. I just don't like being left out. Plus I'm just pretty lonely. I haven't dated anyone in over a year and I live by myself. It's kind of depressing.
1 comment|post comment

Poetry corner [26 Apr 2004|08:20am]
There he is
That's his name again
That everyone's mentioning
And I can't seem to take it
No I can't stand to hear it.

Out of there as quick as could be
Not once looking back to see where you should be
I'm out of time. I'm out of luck
That's just how it has to be, I guess.

There he is
That's his name again
Running through my brain
And I can't seem to take it
No I can't stand to hear it.

You're everyone's friend
You're on everyone's better side
and I'll admit still my mind.
I fought my way out
But you always make headlines.
Did you forget who I am
Or did I drive you too mad?
Could I be a statistic to you?

There is he
That's his name again
Coursing through my veins
And I can't seem to take it
No I can't stand to hear it.

What I took, you gave me.
What I broke, you broke in for me.
The damage is done
We had our fun
But was it really worth it?
I can't say I enjoyed it.

Here you are
What's your name again?
Is it worth repeating?
You don't seem to get it
Listen to me so you can hear it.

There you go
Stepping out again
Facing against the wind
And I can't seem to take it
Living life from what you've made it.
post comment

Paperweight [20 Apr 2004|08:06pm]
Please tell me if I smile too much
I know your chores and I know you don't like them done,
so that's why I'm leaving.
Remind me of the last time I laughed.
When was it last genuine.
When was I not appeasing you, or using you?
It got me out of here, yet look at where I am.
Gratify me instantaneously, then send me home.
You thought you were the one for me, now look at us.
Anchoring each other in a deep sea of fooling ourselves,
hitting the bottom with such a force.
I got there first and still you came.
You're too late. I'm resurfacing.
Now comes the time when I laugh enough.
Here comes a smile. Look how happy I am.
post comment

When nobody's hurt [28 Feb 2004|05:37pm]
Well Jeff's alive. I don't know whose to say for me if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I called him expecting to request a phone call from him explaining what his intentions are towards me and why his actions are as they are, or were as they were. He picked up, though, to my surprise. Then I talked to him and very vaguely explained I was kind of wondering what was going on for the past couple days but his answer was odd... he said his mind was still on that $8 he won. Yeah.
He said we can hang out tomorrow which I guess I can be excited for, but I plan on explaining to him what I've been thinking the past few days when he's failed to return my calls, but leading me on to think this thing was going somewhere - in much less overdramatic terms than my mind has led me to show myself, of course.
Another thing... he asked me to remind him what my phone number was. Did he not put it in his phone before and remembered, or did he take me out of his phone?

My thoughts on the thing wholly are:
The guy's 18. He's far too young to be doing any malevolent screwing over/leading people on thing. You may disagree, but trust me. I know this guy.
The guy's 18. Maybe he's... not matured in the way that you pick up on when someone cares, and that you shouldn't leave people hanging as he has, or maybe to realize when he is leaving people hanging.

The guy's 18. My age. Younger than I am. Aside from what's been going on these past 48 hours, he's so right for me. We click so well. Wasting something so special to me would have to be on the top of my worries.

I've thought it over some, and what if I don't really bring it up? I can play dumb both to him and myself. Riding a rollercoaster is much funner, after all, if you just let it take you wherever it may end up instead of checking for an inspection after every inversion, am I right?
2 comments|post comment

This is the day [28 Feb 2004|09:48am]
Did I let myself get too attatched to this guy? It's hard to say. I haven't allowed myself to get close to anyone in what seems like a long time for me. But he was different. Something so pure and honest about him... and a bonus of the package was the fact that he is a very cute guy with, from the little I've seen, greatly toned body.
We spent our first date walking around, bowling, eating, and having a good time. We then talked every day until we saw each other the following week. We walked about how we would unpack his stuff in his new apartment on Sunday. He mentioned how he was a bit disappointed that he hadn't kissed me the first time, so we made up for that the 2nd time.
The 2nd time, we went to a Casino, we walked around the outside of my school, we ate, and then we had a nap on top of a parking garage. He took me home and told me to keep the phone close by so he could call if he gets lost.
He didn't call that night, so I went to bed after about 20 minutes. I was so excited again... to hear from him. I sat in the house all day after school waiting for his call, staying offline to make sure he got through. I left a voicemail message hinting that I wanted to hear from him. Several hours later, I left another saying I would like to know if he got home safe, so he should call me. When he didn't, I cried a little. I felt stupid, but I really like this guy and was worried. It's been so long since I've had actual feelings like this for a person.
The next day was the same thing. I left him one message, but he didn't call. I went to bed devastated.
A friend wanted to take me on a date sometime... I told him the other day that it was not a good idea, because I wanted to persue things with Jeff. I wanted to make sure things go well, and that Jeff and I might be something of an item some day.
Now it's Saturday. He hasn't called, and supposedly I'm supposed to help him move tomorrow. I am at loss of what to think.
Is he a total flake and is rubbing me off? Did I say something wrong or do something or he found something he didn't like about me? Is he just really busy with work and hasn't had a chance to call? Is he playing hard to get? Is he afraid of getting too close? Does he not want to make it seem like he is pushing too hard to get closer to me? Did he, in fact, not make it home that night? If he didn't, there would be really no way for me to know that.
He can't just not like me or something. He's told me again and again how much he likes me, and how cute I am and how he likes spending time with me. He is not the kind of person who would just say those things and then blow someone off. He's so genuine... I hope.
I need something to take my mind off of it. I need to get out of the house and find something to do, and then come back and check the caller ID and see if he has called. I need a cell phone so I can call him since I can't call long distance. I found 4 McDonalds in Lynnwood, so I should call and ask if a Jeff works there as the shift manager and ask if he's shown up to work. If he is hurt, I would like to know.
I am not ready to admit that he is blowing me off. I know he is better than that. I know he likes me more than to do that. Maybe not as much as I like him, but enough even still.
People just can't do these things to me.
post comment

Friday's pimple [19 Feb 2004|09:25am]
Your Life: The Movie by mintyduck
Who will play you:Colin Farrell
Who will play your love interest:Mary-Kate Olsen
Weeks you will stay in the box office:14
Song that will play during your love scene:Lovage - Anger Management
Song that will play during your death:Ozzy Osbourne - See You On the Other Side
Your name:
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!
post comment

Preface [04 Nov 2003|06:50pm]
Hello. My name is Angel.

I have a livejournal already, but this shall be my alternate. A mostly private journal. I do not yet know what I will write in here, but if it is ever important enough to write in here in so private of a place that cannot be seen by a lot of people, then it will go here. Or who knows. Maybe I'll find something more interesting to put here. We'll have to see.
10 comments|post comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]